Discover Your Innate Ability To Coach Someone!

Have you ever listened to someone with no objective other than to just listen? Listening whilst suspending and disengaging with your own thoughts and feelings about what you’re hearing? Try it, it’s not as easy as it seems! Most people have a desire to react to what they’re hearing, by explaining to another person what it means for them. This is level 1 listening, and there are 3 levels:

1. What does it mean for me?

2. What does it mean for them?

3. What is happening in the full communication dynamic? Tone, body language, gestures, metaphors, intuition.

People will move between 1 and 2 but rarely delve into the realms of Universal Listening, Level 3.

If you read the article I published regarding the grow model you may know that when I began coaching I often struggled to think about what questions to ask. That is why I loved using the GROW model to help.

After a while, I became comfortable and present during my coaching session. There was no more worrying about thinking what questions to ask, they just showed up naturally. I discovered that when I disengaged with thinking/becoming present, it changed the coaching dynamic and yielded more breakthroughs, success, and happiness.

One day out of nowhere as these things tend to happen, I heard – “If you have to think of the question, it’s not the right question to ask” – This statement reminds me that the best questions to ask will come naturally, but only if I am listening universally.

If you think you know how to help someone, you are already on an unintuitive path! What you think may not be best for someone else! It may help, but a person needs to remember, realise and awaken to the fact they have all the resources to make the change themselves. In other words, we are our own saviours, right? The fire must be ignited by the person. As the coach, you act as a light beacon to enable others to see the light within themselves. The truth. The play. I am! And so are they.  

The coach can help illuminate the unspoken by reading the vibes. You cannot do this when you’re filling the garbage can with thought, after thought, after thought. There is no capacity for intuition as awareness is focused on the coaches thoughts and feelings about what they are hearing. 

Tips for having more intuitive coaching sessions

• Taking a few deep breaths during the coaching session is a great way to remain present. 

• Respond intuitively to what presents itself in the moment.

• Listening check – Every so often ensure you are listening, not hearing, not assuming.

• Refrain from getting tangled in the details or story. 

• Listen for metaphors

• Relax

It may come as no surprise, but a lot of us do this naturally. Have you ever known the right thing to say and when to say it? Maybe someone has done the same for you? The chances are that this was a natural thing, there was no coaching session or predetermined idea that the coach can help. In short, thinking makes the water muddy. Thinking blocks the channel to higher intelligence. I remind you of the statement that, if you have to think of the question, it’s not the right question to ask” 

Let’s say, Adam has to think about the question to help someone, and by doing so Adam denies the flow of intuition. Maybe not the flow, but he will be unable to hear intuitiveness because he is engaging with thinking, thoughts and feelings. 

So here is my top tip. Enter the coaching dynamic with a simple intention. 

‘Let’s just have a chat and see what shows up.’

Trust your innate ability to read the unspoken. People give you all the clues through their tone, body language, patterns and their internal metaphor. If you LISTEN to all of that questions spark naturally

Best wishes,

Adam